I usually laugh about my book babies, talk about how I was so excited and scared, but more excited when the oldest, The Lady of Steinbrekka, came into the world. Then came Heart of Kylassame and Soul of Asimina, my twins. I call them that because I wrote them simultaneously, the lives of Rhea and Sabina calling too strongly for me to put either one of them aside for too long.
Then came Finding Keepers, and she was that child you have when you have had a few years to reflect, and you are pretty sure that you are doing everything totally wrong, yet she comes out so beautiful it hurts.
And then there'd my current wip, affectionately known as the Adult Alyssa story. This story has been a long time coming, since my writing time has drastically been reduced in the last year. It also doesn't help that the novel is like a nervous new adult, ready to grow but not quite ready to be on her own, evolving and learning, finding herself while being so horribly lost.
It started as a book of grief, the story of a woman who loses her husband and is left with only her children, trying to pick up the pieces. The research behind her character created Finding Keepers, and this book is why her relationships evolved the way they did.
It's grown though, grown past the grief, grown into a beautiful love story. As love stories do, it's been a rambling journey, a sometimes pointless journey, and I'm hopeful that there won't be too many more changes as soon I can share Alyssas final love story with all of you.
Thursday, September 10, 2015
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
When you can't be enough
I haven't done much around here lately, and for that I apologize. You see, I've been stuck. Stuck in the land of doubt. Stuck in the land of "not enough".
And it's amazing how quickly that turns into "not good enough", which is where I'm sitting right now. Over the last three years I have become friends with so many amazing authors and given the honor to read their books, some even before they are published. Their accomplishments fill my world, their new releases, their awesome give-aways, their fabulous way with words (seriously, I hit the friend jack-pot when it comes to author friends, remind me to pimp them out more, k?)
I don't have a lot of time to write lately, just 30 minutes here or there, and it's hard. It's hard to be a writer who doesn't have time to write, hard to get the feel for a story when you can only devote 30-45 minutes to it and know there will be interruptions. And when a writer can't write, well, it messes with your mind. When I wrote regularly, I loved my writing, my books, my characters, but when you don't do it regularly, it's so easy for the doubts to creep in, for you to feel less than you know you are.
The "somewhat" sequel to Finding Keepers (the main characters are Alyssa and Caleb, but it is 15 years later, so not a true sequel) is making pretty good headway, but it's taking forever. F-o-r-e-v-e-r and I know if it feels that way to me, it must feel that way to everyone who read Finding Keepers and is awaiting the rest of the story. I promise you it will come, but I can't promise you when. All I can do is ask you to wait and be patient, and hopefully you'll stick by my side.
There's also that hard part of doubt, when it creeps into your personal life. When it starts to affect people other than yourself, or when you try desperately to keep it contained.
You see, my daughter starts preschool tomorrow. Tomorrow! My little 6.5 pound baby that I waited forever for (ok, 40 weeks and 3 days if you count the pregnancy, add a year to that if you count the time desperately hoping and wishing and facing disappointment before the pregnancy) is going to preschool, and it's hitting me harder than I thought.
Not the being away from her, because I went back to work full-time when she was 7 weeks old, but school, omg, school. She is so excited, so thrilled to be going to school, to have friends and teachers and be "at school".
And I am terrified. What if the other kids pick on her? What if she picks on them? What if she gets to school and hates it. What if she gets a teacher who takes all of her beautiful energy and enthusiasm and squashes it like a bug? What if she loves to write fantasy stories and draw pictures of unicorns and she gets a teacher who tells her fantasy is stupid and to stop living in a dream world?
I'm not over my own scars from school (obviously) so how on earth am I to keep her little light safe while she navigates it's many ups and downs?
I don't have an answer (nor do I expect anyone out there to have an answer), so all I can do is tell that little doubt voice to shush, and trust. Trust that the ups will outshine the downs, that she will cross paths with the people she needs to grow, and that I really am "enough".
(and hope that school sufficiently wears her out so that she'll go to bed early enough for me to get some writing in!)
Not enough time.
Not enough energy.
Not enough money.
Just not enough.
And it's amazing how quickly that turns into "not good enough", which is where I'm sitting right now. Over the last three years I have become friends with so many amazing authors and given the honor to read their books, some even before they are published. Their accomplishments fill my world, their new releases, their awesome give-aways, their fabulous way with words (seriously, I hit the friend jack-pot when it comes to author friends, remind me to pimp them out more, k?)
I don't have a lot of time to write lately, just 30 minutes here or there, and it's hard. It's hard to be a writer who doesn't have time to write, hard to get the feel for a story when you can only devote 30-45 minutes to it and know there will be interruptions. And when a writer can't write, well, it messes with your mind. When I wrote regularly, I loved my writing, my books, my characters, but when you don't do it regularly, it's so easy for the doubts to creep in, for you to feel less than you know you are.
The "somewhat" sequel to Finding Keepers (the main characters are Alyssa and Caleb, but it is 15 years later, so not a true sequel) is making pretty good headway, but it's taking forever. F-o-r-e-v-e-r and I know if it feels that way to me, it must feel that way to everyone who read Finding Keepers and is awaiting the rest of the story. I promise you it will come, but I can't promise you when. All I can do is ask you to wait and be patient, and hopefully you'll stick by my side.
There's also that hard part of doubt, when it creeps into your personal life. When it starts to affect people other than yourself, or when you try desperately to keep it contained.
You see, my daughter starts preschool tomorrow. Tomorrow! My little 6.5 pound baby that I waited forever for (ok, 40 weeks and 3 days if you count the pregnancy, add a year to that if you count the time desperately hoping and wishing and facing disappointment before the pregnancy) is going to preschool, and it's hitting me harder than I thought.
Not the being away from her, because I went back to work full-time when she was 7 weeks old, but school, omg, school. She is so excited, so thrilled to be going to school, to have friends and teachers and be "at school".
And I am terrified. What if the other kids pick on her? What if she picks on them? What if she gets to school and hates it. What if she gets a teacher who takes all of her beautiful energy and enthusiasm and squashes it like a bug? What if she loves to write fantasy stories and draw pictures of unicorns and she gets a teacher who tells her fantasy is stupid and to stop living in a dream world?
I'm not over my own scars from school (obviously) so how on earth am I to keep her little light safe while she navigates it's many ups and downs?
I don't have an answer (nor do I expect anyone out there to have an answer), so all I can do is tell that little doubt voice to shush, and trust. Trust that the ups will outshine the downs, that she will cross paths with the people she needs to grow, and that I really am "enough".
(and hope that school sufficiently wears her out so that she'll go to bed early enough for me to get some writing in!)
Friday, July 10, 2015
The ladybug story
If you have read my books, you'll notice that the majority have ladybugs as some part of them, be it the ladybug who was rescued by Rhea's touch and then began to change everything, or simply a carved design in wood. There will be even more ladybugs in book 4, which will tell the story of Katrina, the youngest of the De Nespa line.
So what's the deal?
Part of it is that I simply like ladybugs. I think they are beautiful and fascinating, and since they are one of the bugs that don't bite me, they are my friends. It is so fun, to me, to watch ladybugs climbing around, or to feel them tickling your palm if you are lucky enough to catch one.
It is also a nod to one of my favorite teenage memories, and a way of reminding myself of that carefree moment. It was my senior year of high school, and was still driving the family car (a 1997 Chevy Lumina, green, awesome). My friend and I were waiting for another friend to go do something, and were bored sitting in his driveway. This was a time before cell phones and tablets, and the only thing that we found to entertain us was a pack of stickers. Ladybug stickers. Over a hundred ladybug stickers.
Really, what else is there for two bored teenage girls to do but cover the inside of a car with hundreds of ladybug stickers. It was actually pretty awesome, and made everyone smile. Granted I then had to remove the hundreds of ladybug stickers, but that was okay.
The best part was when my mother kept finding ladybug stickers in the car over a year later. I used to joke that they were my way of reminding her of me when I was away at college, and they forever held a place in my heart.
So what's the deal?
Part of it is that I simply like ladybugs. I think they are beautiful and fascinating, and since they are one of the bugs that don't bite me, they are my friends. It is so fun, to me, to watch ladybugs climbing around, or to feel them tickling your palm if you are lucky enough to catch one.
It is also a nod to one of my favorite teenage memories, and a way of reminding myself of that carefree moment. It was my senior year of high school, and was still driving the family car (a 1997 Chevy Lumina, green, awesome). My friend and I were waiting for another friend to go do something, and were bored sitting in his driveway. This was a time before cell phones and tablets, and the only thing that we found to entertain us was a pack of stickers. Ladybug stickers. Over a hundred ladybug stickers.
Really, what else is there for two bored teenage girls to do but cover the inside of a car with hundreds of ladybug stickers. It was actually pretty awesome, and made everyone smile. Granted I then had to remove the hundreds of ladybug stickers, but that was okay.
The best part was when my mother kept finding ladybug stickers in the car over a year later. I used to joke that they were my way of reminding her of me when I was away at college, and they forever held a place in my heart.
Friday, July 3, 2015
How to crochet a rose
Want to know a not-so-secret secret?
My other hobby is crochet! I have loved crocheting for about 10 years now, ever since my college roomies taught me a basic stitch and I learned all of the fun things that I could make. One of my favorite though, is the crocheted rose.
I searched for different patterns, and ended up finding this one, which has worked the best for me. While making roses for Utopya, I had a ton of fun changing the basic pattern. For instance, putting 2 scs in between each shell (I know, I live on the wild side). I also had a lot of success with adding an additional row in a different color by adding a border.
By request of the pattern creator, I am linking you to her pattern instead of posting it on here. I have posted some of my variations below.
To spread out petals, add a second sc in between the shells
Row 1: Follow pattern
Row 2: Row 2: sc in first st, [skip next st, (dc, ch 1, dc, ch 1, dc, ch 1, dc) in next st, skip next st, sc in next st, sc in next st] 11 times.
To add a border:
Row 3: sc in first sc, (2sc in each ch1 space, sc in next sc) until end.
For the stem, I wrapped the yarn around the pipe-cleaner going from the bottom to the top, threaded it through the bend of the pipe cleaner, then back down (securing the green yarn to the calyx and pipe cleaner). Then I knotted the yarn on the way down, letting the yarn twist around at will. (Sorry the pictures were a little hard to see, my camera/lighting is not the best)
1) Position yarn so it is making a loop to the right of the stem, then move tail under the stem.
2) Pull the tail through the loop on the right
3) Pull until snug, allowing each loop to lie right under the one before, and create the cool spiral effect.
Saturday, June 27, 2015
Resolutions for Utopia 2016
Well, I've just bought my ticket for Utopia2016, and that means I've got some planning to do! Here is my list of things I would love to accomplish before Utopia rolls around
1) Finish at least 1 of my WIPs. I currently am working on the (clean) adult companion novel to Finding Keepers and there is a good chance I will have it published by next summer. I am also working on the 4th book in the Land of Kaldalangra series, but that one will likely not be finished by then.
2) Be more regular with blog posts. My goal is to post on here at least once a week. It may be short, but it will be something :)
3) Be more regular with my newsletter. I have been quiet in the past because I don't typically have a lot going on in my book life. While listening to the marketing panel it was pointed out that a newsletter doesn't have to be about your books! Lightbulb moment!
4) Have more confidence in my awesomeness. This has been a problem for me ever since my high school days, when I was constantly plagued with doubt that people didn't really want to be my friend. Even now, it's hard to break out of the mental mindset that I'm "just ok" and not someone others will be around. I'm just going to hang this picture of me and author BJ Sheldon on my wall, because if she wants to hang out with me, I'm definitely awesome.
5) Be more active in the Utopia community leading up to the event. I was bad about that this year, because, well, work/life balance/pendulum and all of that. I'm going to work on that more for Utopia2016, because there are a ton of amazing people that I need to know better :)
1) Finish at least 1 of my WIPs. I currently am working on the (clean) adult companion novel to Finding Keepers and there is a good chance I will have it published by next summer. I am also working on the 4th book in the Land of Kaldalangra series, but that one will likely not be finished by then.
2) Be more regular with blog posts. My goal is to post on here at least once a week. It may be short, but it will be something :)
3) Be more regular with my newsletter. I have been quiet in the past because I don't typically have a lot going on in my book life. While listening to the marketing panel it was pointed out that a newsletter doesn't have to be about your books! Lightbulb moment!
5) Be more active in the Utopia community leading up to the event. I was bad about that this year, because, well, work/life balance/pendulum and all of that. I'm going to work on that more for Utopia2016, because there are a ton of amazing people that I need to know better :)
UtopYA 2015 - A week of moments
I feel compelled to tell you, I have been sitting on this post for a week because I can't think of the best way to write it, of any way for it to really tell the magnitude of what UtopYA is, and what UtopYA does, and how it has touched my heart. I realized though, that UtopYA is about moments, lots of moments, tons of moments that add up to one amazing experience, so here are some of those moments.
*Driving past James Madison University (my Alma mater) and thinking (all The Hobbit style) "in 5 miles I will be the farthest away from home, by myself, that I have ever been."
* Hitting the Tennessee border and taking a picture, because of all the places I have been, I have never actually been to Tennessee! (that and I was getting REALLY bored having spent the last 5 hours driving through Virginia.
*Seeing Kristina Circelli for the first time in almost a year. Bless the internet and Facebook, because she's one of my best friends and seeing her once a year just isn't enough (that and she had our room key, and I had just spent the last 45 minutes being lost in rush hour traffic and I wanted to eat dinner lol)
* Meeting Chanda Hahn for the first time. I have been in awe of her since before I knew about self-publishing, and I geeked out when I realized we have the same friends. You can imagine my nerves when Kristina and I sit down for dinner and Kristina, all nonchalantly, goes "Oh look, there's Chanda, I'll introduce you." Um...um..I've just been in the car for 10 hours! "Oh, okay. I'll let you eat before I embarrass you then." And she did, and you guys, Chanda hugged me, and she's just as awesome as her books.
*Dealing with the elevator. I don't like elevators (which is why I wrote in the creepy elevator in Lady of Steinbrekka). I don't like the way it feels like you are moving through the air (or dropping). I don't like the creepy way they hover before stopping. I don't like the fact that you are trusting the cable to hold you or the doors to open. You know what's really creepy? Glass elevators, because then you can see how high up you when thinking of all of the above things. Do you know where the opening keynote speeches were? On the 10th floor. Do you know what the outside wall of the elevator was? Glass. But Kristina made it fun.* Meeting Ben Hale, my tablemate. I could not have asked for a better table mate, either. He is everything that I am not, outgoing, social, a marketing guru. I can also tell you, after working beside him for 2 days, that he is also 100% genuine and one of the nicest guys around. I learned a lot just by listening to him interact with people, and grew as an author who needs to self-promote.
* Dinner with Heather Lyons and the fireflies. I've been in a writing group with Heather for a while now, but she was always "up there" on my list of authors. Authors who are super nice, but whose books are so amazing that part of me always thinks, "why would they want to talk to me?". Let me tell you, she really is the nicest person ever. I had dinner with her and Kristina at The Mad Platter and then afterward we sat on the outdoor patio and talked forever. Then a bug with a little glowing butt showed up, and I learned that Heather had never seen a firefly! So I promptly caught one for her so she could see it close up. I love the little bits of magic that come out in the day :)
* Hanging out with Nicole and Nick Greene. Omg, these two are the most adorable couple EVER, and super crazy nice. I pretty much forced myself into their group because Kristina is friends with them and I clung to her like a bug, so yeah, hi! They were seriously so nice though, and funny, and I had a blast with them during the awards and the after party.
* Karaoke night and meeting Chelsea Starling for the first time. I'm pretty sure she's a pixie in her other life, because she is just so amazing and full of energy. She lit up the bar with her swing dancing, and her excitement and joy filled the room.
* Honestly, I went both ways with the keynote speeches. Partially inspired, partially deflated, partially pissed, but they were all an important part of me figuring out who I am, and who I want to be as a writer. I think the one that hit me the most profoundly was the closing speech by Janet, who said (and this is me paraphrasing because my memory sucks) "We all have different dreams, and we all have different goals. Some people don't want to be the next best-seller, they just want to write a novel, or publish a series, or make a modest living, and they are just as successful as someone with a different goal"
As I drove back to Virginia, tired but happy, ready to go wrap my arms around my family but happy to have had some time as Kristi the author and not "mom or wife", I realized that I'm exactly where I want to be. I hit the Shenandoah Valley around sunset, and with the sun descending over the mountains that protect my little valley, I just felt the most profound peace and contentment. My books are where they need to be, and my life is at it needs to be, and I need to embrace everything I'm given and celebrate.
Friday, May 29, 2015
Land of Kaldalangra cover reveal
It started out as one book, expanded to tell the "ever after", and then began to bring in the next generation. The Land of Kaldalangra has taken many twists and turns since it began with the publishing of The Lady of Steinbrekka back in 2012, and that now includes a full make-over!
When I started writing The Lady of Steinbrekka, I never realized that it would become a series, and the same happened with Heart of Kylassame, and Soul of Asimina. About the time I started working on the fourth book (hopefully to be out in 2016 or 2017) I realized that this wasn't going to end any time soon, and it was time for it to look like a series.
I had such a great time working with Donna Dull of Sharp Designs (the same cover artist who did Finding Keepers) and she really did a great job of making the covers feel like a series, but still keeping pieces of the originals that I loved so much. It will also be much easier now when I release the next couple of books (not for a little while though) to make them continue with the beautiful covers.
Presenting, the new look for The Land of Kaldalangra series!
These will be available for purchase at UtopYAcon in Nashville June 18th - 21st 2015, and are also available on Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com
Purchase these books through Amazon
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